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putting my fingertips to the keys & unlocking every part of me…
from: me. to: us.
you get to have a fresh start. you are not required to scrap your way to peace; coming from a deficit is not a prerequisite of joy.
i do. now what?
I wasn’t taught how to recover from the experiences that starved my heart from its ability to trust the nourishing love my husband offered. Instead, I read the room of my childhood environments and allowed it to teach me. What lesson did I learn? Do not allow anyone to get within striking distance to cause my heart any more pain than it’s already experienced. Like many of my peers, I was unintentionally raised by a culture that celebrates detrimental independence. Purposely though, I was taught that to need or to rely on anyone was a weakness.
It’s Okay To Enjoy Sex
My mom’s generation didn’t openly discuss traumas or emotions that were culturally accepted as weak. Our house was small in square feet and the dysfunction took up any extra space we had to spare. I guess she’s right, men won’t be willing to wait for what they want, I thought as her words took up residence in my brain. She was my mom and I didn’t ask any questions; I took her words to be gospel. That was it, that was our talk.
spirit says: *convicted*
I am not serving God in my spirit. Actions, yes. But if my spirit could talk it would say that it is serving my fears.
write where i am
Coasting into our second month of weekly therapy sessions, sometimes I can tell that the lights from life’s fireworks have purpose.
waiting to exhale
life transitions are hard, scary, but necessary. plants grow best when the soil is tended to and changed. the same goes for people. whether it's a loss or a gain that we think we're not ready for, we are. fear tries to scare the breath that growth is trying to offer us. choose to exhale.
beauty in the gray
Finding comfort in duality necessitates emotional and spiritual maturity. There will be times when life is lifeing while blessings are still flowing. It happens more times than not. Giving yourself permission to be human and not living in the polarizing mindset of life only being good or bad at once is the sweet spot of the gray.
i saw me in Meghan
Beyond the necessary changes required for her to fit into her role as a working member of the Royal family, for me the unwritten and often unspoken cousin of code switching that Meghan showed in her interview is what many Black people do when sharing their experiences of being mistreated by the majority people group — tell a protective truth at the expense of your own sanity.
time will pass
life's waiting period often feels difficult but there's beauty in the waiting. the lessons learned will be useful for your 'next' and help fill the white space of the wait.
dear america
You have choices and I have limited resources. You have freedom and I have boundaries. We are not the same, yet you say all lives matter. That sounds nice and less divisive, so when I say, more specifically, black lives matter, you're offended. Why is that? Why can't it be both for you? Why does my self-awareness intimidate you? Is it because you too have to become aware of me, of the injustices that my people have endured? Why do I have to settle on your truth without you even being willing to acknowledge mine?
loving fearlessly
As a young girl trying to find peace within discomfort, trauma held my hand and guided me into survival mode.
mother-daughter trauma
For me, if I wasn’t enough for my mama to choose me, then how could I be enough for anyone else.
even in the middle, just breathe….