time will pass
I told Bryce it was time for him to take a shower. Parents of sons, I’m almost certain that you know the response I received: the most respectful evil eye a seven year old knows how to give with his upper body slouched forward as he attempted to walk away forcefully putting all of his weight into each footstep. I called him back into my bedroom so we could discuss our next moves. As a mom that was once a child that wasn’t always permitted to express her feelings, I try to remind myself and Bryce that nothing is too small for us to talk about. My goal is to always acknowledge and validate his feelings, letting him know that his feelings matter just as much as any adult’s.
He explained that taking a shower took too long and he wanted to keep playing his video game. Understanding that he’s laser focused on what he wants to do and setting aside that I know he doesn’t realize that he has a limited amount of time to play, shower, brush his teeth and read, all before bed, I took in what he was expressing. I explained to him that the time he spends in the shower is going to pass anyway, so he needed to use it wisely. He looked a little confused. Explaining again but with a different choice of words, I told him when he’s in the shower he should focus on showering, no playing in the water and wasting more time. His semi toothless smile.
As I was talking to him, I was preaching to me: the time will pass anyway! It may pass slower than I’d like or faster than I have time enough to bask in its goodness, but time will indeed pass.
It’s the slow passing that I tend to have a hard time coming to terms with. The times when I feel like my momentum is at a standstill and my life’s clock is in need of a new battery, I’ve found that it’s those times that I must lean in and take inventory of what’s truthfully happen and separate it from how it’s making me feel.
The truth is, there’s beauty in stillness. When I’m planted in the presence of the moment I am able to water the seeds that I’ve planted, smell the flowers that have bloomed, and till the land that will house my future seeds. When stillness is honored like a friend and not pushed away as an adversary, I get to embrace clarity and gain peace and wisdom. Understanding that stillness does not equate to being stuck but is a seasonal faction of time that will pass, it’s my choice to either show up to it as a student ready and willing to take notes or will I borrow Bryce’s laser focus to zoom in on what I feel like I’m missing instead of panning out to see what I have time left to gain.
Legend has it that as time passes we’ll inevitably heal. I’d like to add that what we do with the passing time determines how well we heal. The lasting results of a well executed surgery versus putting a small bandage over a large gushing wound, differ tremendously. As the time you’re given passes, do your best to make it count!
Taking inventory of stillness:
How is my heart?
What environment or activity makes me feel centered?
What do I need in this moment?
Am I viewing my life through the lens of truth or feelings?
What can I let go of to expand my capacity to receive what I need?
